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We've seen how difficult it can be for two people to continue a long-distance courtship for an extended period of time.
They may not see each other as often as conventional daters, but nevertheless the feelings between them can become very intense.
The next point to clarify is that one of the parties (and it doesn't matter which one) is willing to relocate if the two of them decide to marry. You've coordinated your schedules, purchased the airline ticket, and arranged for accommodations once you arrive in your date's home city. Plan to intersperse dates with activities you will do on your own.
In previous columns you've mentioned the idea of giving one another space during the dating process. Hank With relatively inexpensive air fares and even cheaper long-distance telephone rates (not to mention the blessings of e-mail), it is now easier than ever to negotiate a long distance courtship.
You recommend one date for 2 or 3 hours and then not another one for several days, and I've followed that advice. However, anyone considering long-distance dating should be aware of the inherent problems in dating a G. ("geographic undesirable") and how to avoid those problems.
No matter how long a couple has known each other, we caution them not to overdo the time they spend together, no matter how much they like each other and no matter how difficult or expensive it was for them to arrange the trip.
Otherwise, at some point during the visit one or both of them may begin to dread going out on another date, and may decide they feel this way because there is something wrong with the other person.
After the long-distance traveler returns to his or her home, we recommend that those who want to continue to date each other correspond by e-mail and telephone, but quickly agree upon the next time they will be getting together and make arrangements for the trip.