11 year age difference dating
So what’s the root cause of this destructive force of fixation?How can you completely banish it from your love life, so love has a chance to flourish and grow? Simple, however, does not always translate to easy.So if the “music” of your relationship is a bitter, hateful ballad of pain and inner suffering… MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not the One When you fixate on a relationship, you are choking the joy out of your own experience and that negative vibe transmits into your relationship and very quickly poisons it, fatally.Instead of your guy feeling relaxed around you, he feels pressure (like he’s afraid to offend you or upset you).Heck, you don’t even need them to be your boyfriend or lover. You just love having them in your life and they love being in yours, whether it’s as friends, as lovers, or as life partners.You just simply enjoy them as a person and you’re happy with them just being who they are. Again, I have to emphasize that it’s Fixation, on the other hand, does not feel pleasant.It does not feel good, but it does feel very urgent, very important, and very stressful.When you’re fixated on someone, it feels more like you’re suffocating. like you must have them treat you a certain way, give you a certain relationship title, or somehow prove their commitment to you.
While this makes for good entertainment, it isn’t real life.Let’s talk about what a relationship actually is, since the majority of people blindly want, crave and chase the idea of having a relationship and yet, very few actually understand some essential points about what a relationship is…A relationship is not a possession, like a stone or a purse or a car. A relationship is simply the interaction you’re having with that person as it’s happening and the general, overall tone of your interactions. Society doesn’t see relationships this way, for the most part. Relationships are living and experienced in-the-moment, like music. If it’s sitting on your MP3 player and you’re not playing it, then it is simply data.I think most women run into issues and confusion in their love lives because they don’t know what a truly healthy relationship looks like, and is supposed to feel like.And it’s not surprising given the very unrealistic portrayals of love in movies, TV, and music.
It’s usually based on an obsession, or idealization, more than a genuine appreciation and acceptance of who the other person is. Well, when you love someone, it is pretty effortless.